Livin la Vida Loca
It has been months since I wrote. I think about it all the time. But with Steve and I both starting new jobs in the midst of a DIY giant kitchen remodel, there truly was no time. But here I am again, I will try again to share my thoughts and I would ask that you share yours.

As I write this please remember this is my perspective of things and I can only speak to that. If someone else writes, they may have a different perspective.

As most of you know and many of you watched(Thanks again for the prayers and good thoughts) Dateline aired a show on Fri May 20th about the 22yr old murder of my sister, Rosie. It was and is amazing to me the twists and turns of life.

I can't believe it has been 22 yrs. When Rosie died its shock was tremendous to my family. At the time I didn't really see it. It is hard to see the true nature of trauma from on the inside. 

Growing up in the city of Detroit we were very poor. My childhood was rough, very rough. I don't feel the need to spell out the details just to say it was very rough. There were many Graces as well. God's graces can come through the darkest of places. 

Before you look at my mother with a critical eye, be careful. That big family you saw on Dateline would not take to kindly to that!! My mother is the most amazing person I know. I could only hope to be as strong, courageous and faith filled as her. As bad as my childhood was, hers was too. This life has thrown a lot of shit her way(excuse my bluntness). She cleans it off, stands proud and moves forward. Maybe she will write her story one day. She taught me to have faith, to follow Christ, to know there is good in this world and it starts with love. 

As I was growing up, I always knew that I would leave the city and create a different life for myself. Steve and I were trying to figure out our life 22yrs ago. Steve was working in Ann Arbor and we were on the waiting list to move to a townhouse out there. When Rosie died that summer I had 2 children, Danny was turning 4 and Mandy was  2. She died in June(right before Danny's birthday) her funeral was the last weekend for our childhood church. It was being closed. Then 4th of July weekend we had a house fire. We lost a lot of our belongings then. We boxed up what we could salvage and moved in with Steve's parents while the flat we rented was fixed. During this crazy time, we received the call that a townhouse had become available, but we needed to make a decision ASAP. The waiting list was long and others were waiting too. How could we say no, we were already boxed up and in a state of flux.

We moved to Ann Arbor and I began attending community college. I remember walking around campus wondering "how the hell did I get here". As life took over, justice for Rosie or dealing with her death wasn't something I was prepared to deal with. I never forgot, never stopped missing her. 

I just focused on creating a life for myself and my family in Ann Arbor. It was a culture shock. I felt like an outsider, we were so young with kids. We stood out. I have made a life here and have great friends, wonderful people who mean the world to me. 

I sometimes wish though that Rosie's justice had been a priority. No regrets though, life is. My childhood made me the person I am today, and I am okay with who I am. As my family finally begins to deal with the traumas of life please continue to pray for us.

Justice, Peace and Love.

(more to come next week)